tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5860052019354199263.post8800172988065477142..comments2023-03-21T04:45:28.132-07:00Comments on Velvet Steamroller: My Brilliant Career (cross-post)Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5860052019354199263.post-72186081469163406252010-11-23T08:27:08.499-08:002010-11-23T08:27:08.499-08:00Thanks, Raz.
It's interesting--as adult femin...Thanks, Raz.<br /><br />It's interesting--as adult feminists we learn all about the arc that girls that age supposedly go through, and DO go through, but I wonder if we've overfocused on that aspect of girlhood because of its urgency, neglecting what we're talking about here. That sense of potential you brought up is mighty. I do wonder if it's somewhat different for "kids these days," since certainly they are more sexualized than we were. When I was 13, even though I longed to be sexy, I also knew that none of the templates of "sexy" really applied to me yet, so that realm felt like this wide-open field. In "The Beauty Myth" Naomi Wolf briefly mentions the idea that women who are conventionally beautiful might have a harder time with the constraints of beauty because they identify more with its conceit--whether that's true, I don't know, but certainly that makes sense as far as younger teens versus older ones.<br /><br />Re: body image getting better as I get older...in certain ways, yes. I'm not tortured by it in the way I used to be. More important, I've learned that my body image is separate from how I treat my body as far as food and exercise. I mean, my body image is better when I'm exercising, but I'm no longer basing my food intake based on how I feel about my body. Or at least I'm aware of it when I am...Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5860052019354199263.post-90942024987409274162010-11-21T22:42:09.479-08:002010-11-21T22:42:09.479-08:00Oh, also! Something else I've been thinking ab...Oh, also! Something else I've been thinking about, that your pics reminded me of: a few years ago, my friend was showing me some old pictures of herself from middle school, and we started talking about how unflattering and matronly our clothes were. Now, part of it is just that the styles were different, our "fashion eyes" have changed, etc. But one thing about those styles - we were not expected to look sexy. It was enough to be cute, and almost anyone that age can be cute.<br /><br />But at the risk of being all "the kids these days!" - 13-year-old girls now ARE supposed to look sexy and the fashions reflect that. And something that occurred to me - I can't remember the last time I saw a 13-year-old girl who looked as awkward as ALL of my friends looked at that age. Again, fashions, etc but STILL. It definitely seems like it's less "ok" for girls to be goofy and awkward-looking at that age.Razhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07392174626612431500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5860052019354199263.post-20097713711713993342010-11-21T22:33:25.179-08:002010-11-21T22:33:25.179-08:00Wow, Autumn, this was brilliant and insightful. As...Wow, Autumn, this was brilliant and insightful. As always. <br /><br />I almost died laughing looking at your pics because mine were pretty much the same, except with blonde hair, *horrible* bangs and a bit more pudge. And it's AMAZING, because I had almost the exact same experience of secretly admiring my "incipient beauty" but I had totally forgotten about it. <br /><br />Whenever I think about those years, I think about how they were the root of my self-image and self-confidence problems for years to come, and in many ways they were. But at the time, I was always seeing things in my appearance that were beautiful, and I was pretty damn sure I'd grow up to be a beautiful woman. <br /><br />Actually, at that time I was also totally and completely convinced that I was going to be an actress when I grew up. :)<br /><br />At that age, everything is about potential. I was never a great actress, but I could become one. I wasn't beautiful, but I could become beautiful. <br /><br />Now I'm trying to think about where the body image issues started to get bad, and I think it was high school. Because you're right, that's when our beauty is supposed to start "performing." And reality comes up against the cultural fantasy, which, really, no one can live up to.<br /><br />Also, an interesting factoid: I remember reading somewhere a long, long time ago that college-aged women (or maybe women *in* college, not sure which) have the lowest self-esteeem. I think this is *amazing* and I've never seen it explained. But I actually do think this was the case for me, and I'm not really sure why.<br /><br />By the way, do you feel like your body image has improved over the last couple of years? I was surprised at how, almost as soon as I turned 32, my sense of comfort with and even liking of my body increased by about 200%. I know this happens to a lot of women around 30 - and it probably would have happened for me earlier if it weren't for the health problems I had. Just curious if this is the case for you as well.Razhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07392174626612431500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5860052019354199263.post-30702926234333449542010-11-10T07:59:31.061-08:002010-11-10T07:59:31.061-08:00I love hearing the various stories of discoveries ...I love hearing the various stories of discoveries of personal beauty, especially at that potent age. I think there's a certain feminist girl-power version of it (girls' self-esteem suffers at that age = let's save it!), a mainstream, short-sighted version (girls are universally pretty, or smart, and in either case, yay for them!), and worlds in between. <br /><br />I think it's interesting that both of us, around that age, could acknowledge that "unconventional" beauty within ourselves--there's a lot of ink out there about how girls want to conform, and they/we do/did, but there's also this sort of knowledge and pride that they can carry that I think is fascinating.Autumn Whitefield-Madranohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379314479257695986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5860052019354199263.post-82565969060456501052010-11-10T05:11:27.731-08:002010-11-10T05:11:27.731-08:00This is beautiful. Personal and universal.
But...This is beautiful. Personal and universal. <br /><br />But you know, I think it worked backwards for me. I think that when I realised (after some years, natch) that people were not even half as judgemental and damning of my looks as I was, it forced me to be more objective and REALLY look at myself. This happened within a limited time, too, at around the same age. It wasn't a burning bush revelation, and I didn't suddenly become The Most Confident Girl in the World, but it was enough to wake me up to a fledgling sense of my own beauty - albeit unconventional in some contexts - and not be quite so hard on myself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com